The Western Institute of Remote Viewing
(if you have any funny ones of your own, please e-mail me at:
or call 1- 866-759-9010
Tired of Gloom and Doom?
Worried about Y2K?
Worried about why you shouldn't be worried about Y2K?
Got alien pathogens in your broccoli ?
Solar flares got you moving to lava tubes?
Are you feeling Subspatially challenged?
or just plain transdimensionally retarded.
No need to worry, try...
Lightenup Remote Viewing! - LRV
( also stands for... Lavatube Ranger Viewers!!! )
Learn LRV and you can become become a Lavatube Ranger Viewer! one of the proud and the very few.
To do so, you only need to take this simple multiple choice test, and you'll be on your way to a worry free existence as a LRV'r !!
1. What does TRV stand for?
a) Truebelievers Remote Viewing
b) Thedevilmademedoit Remote Viewing
b) Touchypeople Remote Viewing
c) Talktosatanandtellartbell Remote Viewing
e) Tryitagain Remote Viewing
f) Toxicallienspores Remote Viewing
g) Takeanothertoke Remote Viewing
i) Totalitarian Remote Viewing
j) Ticklemeelmo Remote Viewing
k) Tolerantofotherpointsofviewhaha Remote Viewing
l) Trial&error Remote Viewing
m) Totallyself Rightious Viewer
n) Theonetrueversion Remote Viewing
o) Tightassed Remote Viewing
p) Tragedy Remote Viewing
q) All the above (I indiscriminately believe anything)
r) None of the above (I indiscriminately believe nothing)
s) Waiting for it to be published in more refereed journals (I only believe something when my nose is
rubbed in the proof, and all my intellectual friends.[when I have any]) believe it too.
t) Whatever Randi says
2. What does SRV stand for?
a) Subspacecadet Remote Viewing
d) Saybyebye Remote Viewing
c) Saywhat? Remote Viewing
d) Singlewhitemale Remote Viewer (good for classified ads)
e) Serious Reality Vacancy
f) Savethemartians Remote Viewing
b) Savecourtney Remote Viewing
h) Subspace Recreational Vehicle
i) Sayswho? Remote Viewing
n) Subspace Remote Viagra (happens when you least expect it)
3. What does CRV stand For?
a) Comatose Remote Viewing
b) Cranialimplant Remote Viewing
d) Can'tstopthevoices Remote Viewing
e) Concrete&steel Remote Viewing
f) Conservative Remote Viewing
g) Compost Remote Viewing
h) Crispycritter Remote Viewing
c) Controlling Remote Viewing
d) Comedy Remote Viewing
h) Cosmic Remote Vampires
To find out your score, and to see if you've become a real "LRV"
Call 1-800-RVTHIS! ( within this dimension)
Win a free one-way tript to Hawaii ! (yah sure)
But wait, there's much more!!
IF YOU SUBSCRIBE TO THE LRV JOURNAL --
You Get your Own style of Remote Viewing named after you!! ----
Place Your initials here >>> "___ ___ Remote Viewing" or "__ __RV
Learn the secret LRV hand shake! Get the Special LRV decoder ring!
Get the respect you've always really deserved!
Win a free abduction vacation with the Grays!
Visit the Martian Military Elite living deep inside the Matterhorn at Disneyland! (They are all accomplished LRVs!!)
Learn NASA's most dreaded secrects:
You can get Get YOUR face imprinted on mars!! (familiy portraits available for an extra charge)
Learn how Mt. Rushmore really got carved!!
What were the Grays really doing when they crashed at Roswell?? You'll be shocked!! Find out in the next issue!!!
Is there a conspiracy to produce conspiracies that there are no conspiracies?
Learn about "Polyannoia" the delusion of not being persecuted!!
Remember, the mind of a remote viewer is a terrible thing to waste.
PLUS! you get your own set of Ginsu Knives!!!!
Remote viewers are clueless
Remote Viewing: So many targets, so little time
FUNNY RV ITEMS AS OF 6/26/97:
How many remote viewers does it take to screw
in a light bulb? --- Two!...One to screw in
the bulb, and one to monitor temps, color, luminescence, contrasts and energetics.
How many remote viewers does it take to screw
in a light bulb? --- Remote viewers don’t
screw in light bulbs, they screw in subspace!
I will be careful doing a deep mind probe of
myself, deep mind probe of myself, deep mind probe of myself, deep mind probe
No matter, never mind.
"Subspace"= The place where I left my sandwich.
Remote viewers start primitive, probe deeply and keep moving.
Remote viewers do it from a distance!
Just view it!
Be there now!
Remote viewers surf the galactic internet!
Be careful where you probe!
Who needs an RV when you can RV?
One should have at least one movement exercise per day
There tomorrow here yesterday
Remote viewers witness dim impressions and are therefore dimwitnesses
If it’s remotely possible we’ll view it!
Remote viewers do it with an open mind!
I’m not really here, this is my subspace body!
To go where no mind has gone before!
The Galactic Federation wants you!
Remote viewers are telepathetic!
Life’s a movement exercise and then you fly!
Protect yourself; do it in subspace!
Remote viewers -- here today, here tomorrow!
View unto others as you would have others view unto you.
Remote viewers always get a room with a view!
It takes a lot of thought-balls to be a remote viewer!
A subspace mind is a terrible thing to waste!
Incredible denial requires incredible proof!
Lose your noisy mind and come to your subtle senses!
Cue it, view it, do it! (you already knew it!)
Boy do I have to P4 1/2!
Remote viewers go to the “Isle of View”! ( Say “isle of view” fast five times)
RV Satire & Humor on the net:
http://www.ufomind.com/ufo/updates/1997/apr/m23-012. shtml (NEARSIGHT